wax-poetic

well its been a long time since I haven't  plugged in... f*cked up my computer and had no time to fix it... but @ last I am back online...  :) I am in love and I feel great... sorry for not deviating for a real long time but had no chance, and could not really get my self to work on anything... :( I was in such a mood that I even forgot where my camera was and just remembered where I may be... so hang on everyone, I'll be back with lots of stuff in a real short time... I guess... ;) see ya all... :stereo:

It's my moms birthday today, and she is at the hospital... :( just had an operation... this feels so bad, she is trying to seem happy @ her so called birthday party, it is so hard to do with all those stuff around her... I felt so small and useless... :crying: immitated as if I was happy just like everyone did.. I did not fit there, she did not either... I hope none of you experience such a thing... been there, done that... it hurts so bad... sorry for this bad mood... but thats life... I we better get high... :weed: :stereo: :weed:

the fact is, I really dont know what to write... and I cant be honest to myself about this... I have been messing around since she is gone and could not face the truth of being left behind... cant find a way out... I just want to stay alone... listen to myself for a while... but time is cruel... it just keeps going... feels like noone really understands me... so I will just keep on immitating as if I am fine...                                                      how can I be?!? everthing in its rigth place...                            keep listening...                                        :stereo: